


assholes in training

by Nivena



Series: allopreening [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Affection, Batfamily Feels, Brotherly Affection, Other, batfam, is that so much to ask for, look i want them to be a fucking family for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nivena/pseuds/Nivena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Jason never felt the need to find his biological mother and never died. Instead, he turns eighteen, lives with his older brother, and defends his codename against all haters.</p><p>alternatively: i will fistfight anyone who says jason was a bad robin</p>
            </blockquote>





	assholes in training

**Author's Note:**

> see someday in the distant future, the batfam might be able to get it together and become a healthy family
> 
> i'm delusional but i can hope.

Jason began his morning getting thrown out of a window. Not the most remarkable way he’d ever started his day, but probably up there in the top ten.

 

He clung to the windowsill and, with a grunt, heaved himself up. The window didn’t actually have any glass in it, mostly because Jason had forgotten his keys last Wednesday and the apartment was high up enough that a little cardboard would do in its place.

 

He flopped ungracefully down, then scrambled to his feet. His roommate was at the table, drinking something he claimed was coffee. Jason personally thought it was a sin against humanity, but he’d rather not get pushed out the window again.

 

“Dick.” He muttered, letting his brother wonder if that was a greeting or an insult. Dick decided on greeting.

 

“I got pancakes,” he bargained, gesturing with his mug to the stack. Jason sighed and took a seat at the table. It was a rough hewn circular thing, and Jason was afraid to touch it too long for fear of splinters.

 

Dick had no such worries, and casually rested his elbows on the scarred up surface. Of course, he was still in his costume, and the gauntlets were especially thick.

 

“This is a terrible apology,” Jason decided, putting down his fork.

 

“They’re Alfred’s pancakes, what more do you want?”

 

“A  _ verbal  _ apology, asshole. And these were on the table already, they don’t count.”

 

“‘Cause you’re an expert in the fine art of apologizing?” Dick raised an eyebrow, and damn, he must have been taking lessons in casual condescension from Bruce.

 

Jason crossed his arms and scowled stubbornly. Two can play at this game.

 

“Fine. I’m sorry for pushing you out of the window,  _ even though you clearly startled me and had it coming. _ ”

 

It’s not a full apology, but he’d take what he got.

 

* * *

 

Jason tried to put on his cheap boots, only to see his sock staring him down from the half-ripped off sole.

 

“Shit,” he muttered, examining the offending shoe. Dirt and other unidentifiable but disgusting substances rubbed off onto his fingers.

 

“Dick!” He calls out. “My shoe broke!”

 

Dick bounced a roll of duct tape off his forehead. Jason shrugged and used it.

* * *

 

When Jason came back with a copy of Birdwatcher’s Digest, Dick decided not to comment. He’d been up for going on fifty hours anyways, so he’d been too tired to question it.

 

When he’d seen his brother poring over it for the past week, he decided enough was enough.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, taking a seat on the threadbare couch next to him. 

 

Jason mumbled something, engrossed in turning the pages.

 

“Enunciate,” Dick reprimanded absentmindedly, leaning over onto his arm to catch a look.

 

“I said, I’m looking for a codename.”

 

Dick took a second to process, and then burst out laughing.

 

* * *

 

“Blue-footed booby.”

 

“Dick, fuck off.”

 

“Ostrich.”

 

“Dick.”

 

“Songbird.”

 

“Dick, what the fuck.”

 

“What’s wrong with Songbird?”

 

“It’s stupid.”

 

“Jason, most bird names are stupid. Emu though-”

 

“Dick, holy shit, I’m never telling you anything again.”

 

“Crow? Magpie? Red-tailed Hawk?”

 

“Wait, what was the last one?”

 

“Red-tailed Hawk. Most common hunting bird in America.”

 

“Not commenting on how you know that-”

 

“But you did.”

 

“-that’s not a half bad codename. Maybe, Red Hawk?”

 

“That’s a lacrosse team, Jay.”

 

“Oh, fuck you.”

 

“Bluejay.”

 

“No.”

 

“It’s  _ perfect _ .”

 

“Blackbird. I’m going with Blackbird.”

 

* * *

 

Jason’s costume was honestly just one of Nightwing’s, but red. The paint had been runny, so it looked perpetually like he just bathed in the blood of a hundred paintballs. Prompting Nightwing to constantly call him “Carrie”, amongst other bird-related nicknames, much to his consternation.

 

“Nightwing to Magpie, got something on Fifth and Main,” Dick’s voice whispered in his ear.

 

“Blackbird to Wingnight, be there in two,” Jason shot back, calculating the distance and speed it would take.

 

He jumped off the edge, feeling the night air tug at his hair, and rolled as he hit the ground. Sometimes, even if it took off the “mysterious” edge, it was just easier to go on land.

 

“So, any specifics?” He whispered as he rushed, weaving in and out of alleys.

 

“Drug bust, I think. Meet me on the roof of Pier 42.”

 

Jason took a turn hard, grapple already in hand, and spent a second searching for a way.

 

_ There,  _ he thought, bringing up the gun. A quick shot sent the line spinning around an old-fashioned signpost. Taking a running start, he swung himself up and around, tumbling slightly ungracefully onto the roof. He clicked the  _ retrieve _ button on his grapple, and got to his feet as the line snaked it’s way back in, not unlike a tape measure.

 

He noticed immediately, a flash of blue.

 

“So, kid. Ready for a drug bust?” Dick asked, stepping out of a few shadows.

 

“You act like it’s my first one.” Jason groused, stashing his gun.

  
“First in Bludhaven. City’s got a way of welcoming you.”

**Author's Note:**

> might make a series out of this, might absolutely not.
> 
> EDIT (4-7-2016): Has a sequel in "Nickle and Dime"


End file.
